I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
