I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
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I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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