Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
