is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
