i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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