here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize