White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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