Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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