After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
