I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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