i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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