Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
