It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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