let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
