wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
