Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
