Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
