I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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