this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
