so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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