i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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