Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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