I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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