You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
