people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
