marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
