But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is Oprah even human
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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