First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
As shirtless as possible
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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