You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
