Where did you get a picture of my penis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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