then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
