I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
