Fuck appropriateness.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
