I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Still dying that you shit outside
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
