I accidentally had phone sex last night
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
