he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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