just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
