yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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