the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
