Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
