i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
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you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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