Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
