hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
