is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
