Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is Oprah even human
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
