your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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