I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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