i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
