Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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