so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
