she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
