The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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