We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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