There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We have so much sex to catch up on
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
