I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
