we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
