is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
