Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
