i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
