addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
