turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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