Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
