I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
