Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize