Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
