Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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