belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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